Diary

let your tears be the judge, I think. Yes, on one hand you need to be detached to write. My husband is always telling me my work is better when it's objective. But I often feel dissatisfied with it when I edit all the real feeling out of it to make room for humour or acceptability.
The actors are obviously interpreting your work in such a powerful and sensitive way that touches you and shows how much they respect and appreciate where you're coming from. They empathise with your tears (and I think they'd worry their acting is bad if you didn't cry every rehearsal, now!!) I hope they give you lots of TLC. I don't want to feel you are huddled up in a dark theatre being sad:(
And grief is a weird emotion. I think it's like a drawer full of wooden spoons. If you get a new wooden spoon you still prefer to use the old ones. Every fresh grief stirs up everything else you thought you'd finished grieving over. The newest grief has to become dark brown and burnt from usage before you get used to it and accept it along with the other older griefs. I don't know, it's late and I'm waffling on your blog again, though I think the last one got deleted by mistake. I was interfering with thoughts about old people not accepting things... I'll try again with this one. Sleep tight. Jenny xxx