tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36714522024-03-13T18:13:26.679+00:00DiaryEdinburgh playwright Jo Clifford's online diary.Jo Cliffordhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18386099866702074638noreply@blogger.comBlogger693125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3671452.post-31373778241013754382018-11-30T11:45:00.001+00:002018-11-30T11:45:02.073+00:00We are all the children of Harvey Milk<div style="text-align: center;">
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I think it must have been about 1970 that these two guys came to give a talk at St Andrews University where I was a student.</div>
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They were from an organisation called "The Scottish Minorities Group" and I think they were giving a talk about homosexual peoples' rights. </div>
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I don't think it would have been gay rights because I don't think the word "gay" was really used back then.</div>
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i was 20 years old and it was the first time I'd met out gay men. The gay men I'd met up to that point - and especially the two gay men who wanted to have an affair with me - were both firmly in the closet.</div>
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I loved one of them very much but i was so terrified of my identity and my sexuality that I could not really act on my feelings at all and he was so ashamed of being gay and so worried about losing his job if he was found out that our relationship never came to anything.</div>
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You have to remember that at that time our relationship was against the law. And if we so much as held hands we would be arousing suspicion.</div>
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I wanted to hold hands. The fact I couldn't so hurt me.</div>
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And it all added to the trauma I was suffering because I was trans. Though I couldn't really define myself as that because the word didn't exist.</div>
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What I was was unspeakable.</div>
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And there i was at that meeting and those two guys made a very deep impression on me. Because they weren't making a big thing of it, really, they were just who they were and somehow they seemed to know they were OK.</div>
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It was years and years before I actually came across a single person that was trans - and they were so unhappy and bitter and miserable, poor loves, that they put me off transitioning for ages.</div>
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But still I've never forgotten those two guys even though there was only so much they could do for me and they really so helped me get started on my journey. The journey to accept and learn to like myself...</div>
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And every time I talk in public or perform in public or am generally out in public I think of them and hope that I'm doing perhaps as much good to the people I meet as those two brave men did for me.</div>
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I got asked to moderate, or chair, the launch event for this book and I almost didn't do it. One of the hazards of being a survivor of prolonged and profound childhood abuse is that you tend to assume you can't do things and I didn't think I really be able to do this. </div>
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But then the book is about people who came out in the public and political sphere and the effect this has had on society and it interested me and I try not to listen to the voices who tell me I can't do things and anyway I'm not very good at saying no so I agreed.</div>
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And I'm so glad I did because on Wednesday night I found myself sharing a stage with the most amazing people.</div>
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Louisa Wall, who spoke about the moment she made marriage equality happen in New Zealand; Sunil Babu Pant, who spoke about being the first openly gay MP in Asia in 2008 and his success in having a 'third gender' identity option recognised for Nepali passports; Chris Smith who spoke about the moment he became the first British MP to come out; Hannah Bardell, the SNP MP in the present Westminster parliament speaking about coming out in that vile public school boy institution; Marco Biagi, former SNP MSP, speaking about the moment he steered the equal marriage law through the Scottish parliament; and Sarah McBride, the first trans woman to speak at a national party convention in USA.</div>
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She was charismatic, eloquent, amazing... so profoundly moving to share a platform with her. Her presence such a measure, such a powerful reminder of how far things have moved forward.</div>
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And all in the presence of the lovely Andrew Reynolds and his beautiful, inspiring book. A real privilege and joy to be there at the Scottish launch of it: to welcome its appearance and bless it on its journey through the world.</div>
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I think we all felt it in that room that night: the power of coming out, the power of being true to yourself, whatever your sexuality or gender, and the bright light that shines in a dark world.</div>
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And then last night was the beginning of rehearsals for THE GOSPEL ACCORDING TO JESUS QUEEN OF HEAVEN. Another joy. Another powerful reminder.</div>
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Queen Jesus says: "We all have a light inside us, and sometimes it's the very thing we've been taught to be most ashamed of. And if you have a light, go you hide it in a closet? </div>
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No, you bring it out into the open where everyone can see it. And be glad it exists to shine in the world....."</div>
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<a href="https://www.traverse.co.uk/whats-on/event-detail/1524/the-gospel-according-to-jesus-queen-of-heaven.aspx" target="_blank">https://www.traverse.co.uk/whats-on/event-detail/1524/the-gospel-according-to-jesus-queen-of-heaven.aspx</a></div>
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Jo Cliffordhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18386099866702074638noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3671452.post-32041728348071192542018-11-18T19:15:00.000+00:002018-11-18T19:15:00.464+00:00Honouring a few of our dead<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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We were marking Transgender Day of Remembrance and we couldn't read out all the names.<br />
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We used to be able to, but the number grows each year and now there are too many.<br />
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Alex, the celebrant, had brought this very beautiful tree into church.<br />
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It represented the tree of life.<br />
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Each leaf had a name, and each name belonged to a trans person murdered last year.<br />
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Murdered just for being who we are.<br />
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When the time came, he suggested we each take a cluster of leaves off the tree and take them home.<br />
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And find out what we could about each name.<br />
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And by the end, the tree was completely bare.<br />
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And so I went home, and this is the story of the names I found.<br />
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<b>Bruna Ferrari </b>was killed on the fifteenth February 2018 in Concórdia do Pará, Brazil.<br />
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It is not known how she died, or why, or anything about her.<br />
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Except that she was 17 years old.<br />
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<b>Verónica Carvajal </b>was killed on the 27th November 2017 in La Paz, in Bolivia.<br />
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She was 25 years old, and she worked in a bar.<br />
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She was strangled by her partner, Carlos Alberto V, because she was the breadwinner and had refused to give him the money she had earned that night.<br />
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<b>Macumba </b>was killed on the 11th November 2017 in Veracruz, Mexico. No one knows how old she was, or what she did for a living. Someone ran her over with a car. And then they fled.<br />
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They have not been found.<br />
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<b>Lucky Salavuki </b>was killed on the 17th May 2018 in Suva, Fiji. There was a massive wound in her head where she had been hit by a large stone.<br />
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She was found on the foreshore lying in a large pool of blood. She was 23 years old.<br />
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She was an activist, who had recently come out as trans, and she was excited about contributing to the movement to improve transgender peoples lives.<br />
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Her friends described her as an outgoing person who was always happy to make other people smile.<br />
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<b>Rafella Rotocalco </b>was killed on the 11th September 2018 near Rome. Her body was found on a beach.<br />
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The cause of death is not known. Her age is not known.<br />
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She came from São Paulo, Brazil, was stunningly beautiful and worked as a sex worker.<br />
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<b>Lorrany Lhoane Oliveira </b>was killed on the the 26th December in Santaluz in Brazil.<br />
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She was tortured to death.<br />
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She was 18 years old.<br />
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<b>Blanca </b> was killed on the 27th January 2018 in La Vega in the Dominican Republic. She was a sex worked. Her age is unknown.<br />
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She was stabbed. There were no witnesses. Her murderer has not been found.<br />
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<b>Chandraiah</b> was killed on the 26th May 2018 in Hyderbad, India. Her occupation is listed as, quote, other.<br />
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She was 52 years old. She was beaten to death by a mob who had gathered in the mistaken belief that she was a child kidnapper.<br />
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<b>Charly </b> was killed on the 22nd March 2018 in Puebla, in Mexico. She was a hairdresser and beautician.<br />
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She had been suffering aggression from strangers for quite a while.<br />
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On that date they entered her apartment and decapitated and dismembered her.<br />
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She was 25 years old.<br />
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<b>Marilyn Cipriany Guzmán </b>was killed on the 30th December 2017 in Medellín, Columbia.<br />
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Two men drove up to her on a motorbike while she was walking in the centre of town. One shot her three times and left her bleeding. Then he got back onto the motorbike and they drove away.<br />
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She did sex work. She was 19 years old.<br />
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Not long before her death she gave a newspaper interview in which she said that whenever she tried to get a job or go into a shopping centre she suffered insults and discrimination.<br />
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But this did not happen to her on the street, she said. "People think that because people like me work on the street, we have no morals. But we are human beings and we have the right to equality."<br />
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<b>Jessica González </b> was found dead on the 11th January 2018 in Veracruz, Mexico, two weeks after being reported missing.<br />
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She was a sex worker. The cause of death is unknown. Her age is unknown.<br />
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<b>Phylicia Mitchell </b>was killed on the 23rd February 2018 in Cleveland, USA.<br />
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She was 45 years old and a hairdresser and beautician.<br />
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She was shot in the chest in the street outside her home.<br />
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Her partner Shane said "Everyone loved her. She was just so funny and so kind".<br />
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<b>Krispim Sousa de Araujo </b>was killed on the 14th August 2018 in Mossóro, Brazil.<br />
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Her age is not known. Her occupation is not known.<br />
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She was shot three times and dead on arrival in hospital.<br />
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<b>Karla Patricia Flores-Pavon </b> was killed on 9th May in Dallas, USA.<br />
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She was strangled to death in her apartment. Her occupation is unknown.<br />
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She was 18 years old.<br />
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<b>Maria Luisa Velásques Zuñiga </b>was killed on the 12th November 2017 in Puerto Cortés, Honduras.<br />
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She was found in her apartment with twelve stab wounds to her chest and others all over her body.<br />
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She had visited her mother a fortnight before and had not mentioned being in any kind of trouble. Her family had asked the police to investigate her death because she meant no harm to anyone.<br />
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Her occupation is not known. She was 39 years old.<br />
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<b>J. A. Marín Marín </b>was killed on the 1st February 2018.<br />
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Their occupation is not known. They were 26 years old.<br />
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They were stabbed in the chest while out walking with a friend.<br />
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<b>Linda </b>was killed on the 26th June 2018 in Estado de Mexico, Mexico.<br />
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She was 30 years old. Her occupation is not known.<br />
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She was asphyxiated. She was found in the street with a bag over head.<br />
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<b>Lohane </b>was killed on the 23rd January 2018 in Governador Newton Bello, Brazil.<br />
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Her age is not known. Her occupation is not known.<br />
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She was stabbed by her boyfriend in a fit of jealousy.<br />
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<b>Abya Passos Mantovanny </b>was killed on the 15th September 2018 in Cuiba in Brazil.<br />
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She was a sex worker. She was 33 years old.<br />
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She was stabbed 15 times by her boy friend in a club.<br />
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<b>Joan Thabeng </b>was killed on the 11th November 2017 in Mohlakeng in South Africa.<br />
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Her age was not reported. She was a clerk.<br />
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She had been on her way to visit her boyfriend.<br />
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She had been dragged through the streets before being dumped.<br />
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Police appear to have made no serious attempt to find her murderers.<br />
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May they all rest in peace. May eternal light shine upon them.<br />
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</style>Jo Cliffordhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18386099866702074638noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3671452.post-15708464523797604712018-10-24T11:26:00.003+00:002018-10-24T11:26:47.514+00:00Love in a climate of hatred<a href="https://infonet.com.br/noticias/cidade/corpo-de-laysa-fortuna-e-sepultado-sob-protestos-contra-transfobia/?fbclid=IwAR0sEiOa2fjD9E2ryczC9KRc7K5cKkQ5J2pSTweB0vsv5jNEZfOyqkjzUyE">https://infonet.com.br/noticias/cidade/corpo-de-laysa-fortuna-e-sepultado-sob-protestos-contra-transfobia/?fbclid=IwAR0sEiOa2fjD9E2ryczC9KRc7K5cKkQ5J2pSTweB0vsv5jNEZfOyqkjzUyE</a><br />
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Geovana said of her friend, as they buried her,"<span style="background-color: white; color: #4a4a4a; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 17px;">Laysa embodies happiness. She was a woman warrior and she communicated that. She wanted people to be happy, to be respected, and to be free".</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #4a4a4a; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 17px;">They buried her on the 20th. On the 16th I was in the centre of Sao Paulo when I heard about Priscila, murdered in the centre of town not far from where i was.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #4a4a4a; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 17px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #4a4a4a; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 17px;">She had been hacked to death by a group of men who shouted: "Bolsonaro for President!" and "Under him hunting queers will be legalised".</span><br />
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<a href="https://ponte.org/travesti-e-assassinada-a-facadas-no-centro-de-sp-sob-gritos-de-bolsonaro-presidente/?fbclid=IwAR3iBDus7K1YTUy5Bj8rLBmP3P8S80Tgwa93C1b7Ayc75H_EX7FuqiNothw">https://ponte.org/travesti-e-assassinada-a-facadas-no-centro-de-sp-sob-gritos-de-bolsonaro-presidente/?fbclid=IwAR3iBDus7K1YTUy5Bj8rLBmP3P8S80Tgwa93C1b7Ayc75H_EX7FuqiNothw</a><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #4a4a4a; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 17px;">And I wasn't surprised because this man's campaign is built on his hatred for queer people. And his hatred for women. And his hatred for black people too.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #4a4a4a; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 17px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #4a4a4a; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 17px;">And given that means he has publicly declared his hatred for most of the population of Brazil, you might imagine that would mean he was doing badly.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #4a4a4a; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 17px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #4a4a4a; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 17px;">But no. He's ahead in the polls. And like us Brazil, too, is prepared to vote for its own destruction.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #4a4a4a; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 17px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #4a4a4a; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 17px;">But what immediately concerned me that night was how to get safely home.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #4a4a4a; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 17px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #4a4a4a; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 17px;">He has told us we will find no refuge. his supporters tell us we are on a list, we are known, and when they get into power we will be taken out to paraded in the streets and in city squares where we will have our heads shaved so everyone can see us for the "men" we apparently are.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #4a4a4a; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 17px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #4a4a4a; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 17px;">And i remember all the times I have been called a "man" by the trans-exclusionary so-called "radical feminists", the allies of these killers, who who want to deny me my existence and my name.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #4a4a4a; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 17px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #4a4a4a; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 17px;">So somehow it doesn't surprise me to read that the President of Hungary and the President of the United States have also decided that we don't exist and ar trying to legislate to ensure that we don't.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #4a4a4a; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 17px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #4a4a4a; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 17px;">But I got home safely that night, and am now here at home in Scotland not really feeling safe at all. None of us are, because the hatred and the madness are spreading everywhere.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #4a4a4a; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 17px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #4a4a4a; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 17px;">When I was in Brazil, I had to fight the impulse to hide. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #4a4a4a; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 17px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #4a4a4a; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 17px;">I feel it now. I expect many of us do.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #4a4a4a; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 17px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #4a4a4a; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 17px;">But I refuse to hide. Because we do live in one world, which is why the hatred is spreading and there is no refuge from it.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #4a4a4a; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 17px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #4a4a4a; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 17px;">But love and courage and solidarity and defiance spread too. And they matter more.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #4a4a4a; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 17px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #4a4a4a; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 17px;">Queen Jesus says:</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #4a4a4a; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 17px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #4a4a4a; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 17px;">"Bless those who persecute you too. Because hatred is the only thing they have.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #4a4a4a; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 17px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #4a4a4a; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 17px;">And it doesn't amount to much.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #4a4a4a; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 17px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #4a4a4a; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 17px;">And they will lose it in the end.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #4a4a4a; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 17px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #4a4a4a; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 17px;">Because no matter what they say or what they do they cannot stop the change that is coming.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #4a4a4a; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 17px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #4a4a4a; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 17px;">And one day we will all be free."</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #4a4a4a; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 17px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #4a4a4a; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 17px;">THE GOSPEL ACCORDING TO JESUS QUEEN OF HEAVEN, Traverse Theatre. December 13-22nd.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #4a4a4a; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 17px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #4a4a4a; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 17px;"><a href="https://www.traverse.co.uk/whats-on/event-detail/1524/the-gospel-according-to-jesus-queen-of-heaven.aspx" target="_blank">https://www.traverse.co.uk/whats-on/event-detail/1524/the-gospel-according-to-jesus-queen-of-heaven.aspx</a></span><br />
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and deny us our name should reflect a little about where their hatred and prejudice may lead...</div>
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<a data-lynx-mode="asynclazy" data-lynx-uri="https://l.facebook.com/l.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fponte.org%2Ftravesti-e-assassinada-a-facadas-no-centro-de-sp-sob-gritos-de-bolsonaro-presidente%2F%3Ffbclid%3DIwAR3d8yJCd56mixfbcOLx035eOcLs8woJ-k2tIZmxUZH6r46hup7KezNlIdU&h=AT3NBXNA_FvdYjxpYPGVYZnTT-TON__rxe-YQotfOrz53dWmIXM-aUrjUc9ISMqyItaA2QNNTDf6A-2pDmdJ__MQ1dLAB4gUMU6vueaQMksNRRENvFOJsyUmKRMyiRj3Pz05teYRgPXYS08" href="https://ponte.org/travesti-e-assassinada-a-facadas-no-centro-de-sp-sob-gritos-de-bolsonaro-presidente/?fbclid=IwAR3d8yJCd56mixfbcOLx035eOcLs8woJ-k2tIZmxUZH6r46hup7KezNlIdU" rel="noopener nofollow" style="color: #365899; cursor: pointer; font-family: inherit;" tabindex="-1" target="_blank"><div class="_6l- __c_" data-ad-preview="image-container" style="font-family: inherit; position: relative;">
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Jo Cliffordhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18386099866702074638noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3671452.post-50499912964495577462018-10-06T13:13:00.000+00:002018-10-06T13:13:00.572+00:00We must resist with love to prevent the return of a past of hate<div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="ho28" data-offset-key="75nnp-0-0" style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; white-space: pre-wrap;">
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<span data-offset-key="75nnp-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;">There is a picture of a little boy called Alexandre. </span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="75nnp-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;">When he was two years old he was tortured in front of his mother. </span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="75nnp-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="75nnp-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;">He was given electric shocks in order to force her to give information about leftist groups. </span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="75nnp-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;">This happened under Brazil's military dictatorship. Alexandre never recovered from the trauma and committed suicide in 2013.</span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="65nn-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;">One of the candidates in tomorrow's general election celebrates torture and is openly recalling for a return of military dictatorship.</span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="8tgqh-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;">His name is Jair Bolsonaro and he is currently leading in the polls.</span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="9ic6p-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;">I name him because he is a human being like the rest of us and deserves compassion in his terrible suffering. </span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="9ic6p-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;">Even though he wants to inflict it on us all.</span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="6bqcp-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;">And so this beautiful country, with all its hope and good energy, lies under a cloud of rage and fear.</span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="d73hi-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;">And here I am in the midst of it, planning new work with </span><span blockkey="d73hi" class="_247o" contentstate="j { "entityMap": [object Object], "blockMap": OrderedMap { "75nnp": a { "key": "75nnp", "type": "unstyled", "text": "The little boy in the picture is called Alexandre. When he was two years old he was tortured in front of his mother. Given electric shocks in order to force her to give information about leftist groups. This happened under Brazil's military dictatorship. 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"focusOffset": 135, "isBackward": false, "hasFocus": true } }" data-offset-key="d73hi-3-0" decoratedtext="Renata Carvalho" end="134" entitykey="2" offsetkey="d73hi-3-0" spellcheck="false" start="119" style="background-color: #dce6f8; font-family: inherit;"><span data-offset-key="d73hi-3-0" style="font-family: inherit;"><span data-text="true" style="font-family: inherit;">Renata Carvalho</span></span></span><span data-offset-key="d73hi-4-0" style="font-family: inherit;">.</span></div>
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="d73hi-0-0" style="direction: ltr; font-family: inherit; position: relative;">
<span data-offset-key="d73hi-4-0" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="ho28" data-offset-key="5q7ct-0-0" style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; white-space: pre-wrap;">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="5q7ct-0-0" style="direction: ltr; font-family: inherit; position: relative;">
<span data-offset-key="5q7ct-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;">I am so fortunate. Because this work, too, has its power and it matters.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="ho28" data-offset-key="dhh9u-0-0" style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; white-space: pre-wrap;">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="dhh9u-0-0" style="direction: ltr; font-family: inherit; position: relative;">
<span data-offset-key="dhh9u-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="dhh9u-0-0" style="direction: ltr; font-family: inherit; position: relative;">
<span data-offset-key="dhh9u-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;">"However much darkness there may be in our lives</span></div>
</div>
<div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="ho28" data-offset-key="9o7od-0-0" style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; white-space: pre-wrap;">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="9o7od-0-0" style="direction: ltr; font-family: inherit; position: relative;">
<span data-offset-key="9o7od-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;">There is still a light a light inside us</span></div>
</div>
<div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="ho28" data-offset-key="nc7g-0-0" style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; white-space: pre-wrap;">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="nc7g-0-0" style="direction: ltr; font-family: inherit; position: relative;">
<span data-offset-key="nc7g-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;">And our job is to let it out to shine".</span></div>
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="nc7g-0-0" style="direction: ltr; font-family: inherit; position: relative;">
<span data-offset-key="nc7g-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="nc7g-0-0" style="direction: ltr; font-family: inherit; position: relative;">
<span data-offset-key="nc7g-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
Jo Cliffordhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18386099866702074638noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3671452.post-3492783526753849092018-10-03T15:59:00.001+00:002018-10-03T15:59:30.781+00:00Institutional Act 5. It's not over yet.<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiv3AzslQglZ9sgDFPxzs5nxlRzaJGuVX0zXKbbmSNxlcoLKlsw7UnBpv_64WXtbUZ7lXzUnZlopVTf5BYj2NhCUQnnH1FB3GcHRAykdSv5E3Nas8x6l2Yp89RiRfLt37PTw962zg/s1600/IMG_3713.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiv3AzslQglZ9sgDFPxzs5nxlRzaJGuVX0zXKbbmSNxlcoLKlsw7UnBpv_64WXtbUZ7lXzUnZlopVTf5BYj2NhCUQnnH1FB3GcHRAykdSv5E3Nas8x6l2Yp89RiRfLt37PTw962zg/s320/IMG_3713.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
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<br />
<div class="p1">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">This is the name of the exhibition: “A1-5: 50 anos. Ainde não terminou de acabar”. It commemorates the fiftieth anniversary of the so-called “Fifth Institutional Act” of the Brazilian military dictatorship.</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">This effectively stripped every citizen of Brazil of every human right. And it imposed the strictest censorship on artists of every kind.</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">The title also says: “It’s not over yet”.</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">It’s an amazing, beautiful and powerful exhibition at the Instituto Tomie Ohtake, one of the most important art galleries in São Paulo. Among the artworks and the pictures of protests and happenings are extraordinary moving testimonies from the artists who were active at that time and are now recognised as some of the important Brazilian artists of the 20th century.</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">Stories of struggling to survive under the threat of imprisonment, of torture, and of worse. Of artworks created with love and passion that have since been destroyed.</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">And among all these extraordinary and powerful artworks and testimonies is a simple wooden altar, that can be folded up and taken on tour. It is covered with a cloth embroidered with a representation of love. With a chalice of wine. With flowers in a vase. With a beautifully printed and bound book in English and in Portuguese.</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">Beside it are two documents side by side. One banning the play as being deeply offensive to religion; and one stating that any such ban is contrary to the constitution.</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">And beside it is a list of all the performances of the play in Brazil over the two years of continuous touring, the injunctions that have banned it and been subsequently overturned.</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">And above the altar is a screen with footage of the actress Renata Carvalho performing a scene of the play with the most astonishing and beautiful grace and authority, and of the armed police disrupting its performance in Garanhuns but failing to prevent it.</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">And Renata performing the final scene, lit only by a flashlight, to an audience standing rapt under torrential rain.</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">And this is about my play. “The Gospel According to Jesus Queen of Heaven”.</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">And there, giving my testimony on screen. among all these other courageous and remarkable artists, is me.</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">It makes me cry to think of it.</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">And my first thought is that I don’t deserve to be here.</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">Renata, yes, and Natalia Mallo, the translator and director, yes, and all the other beautiful artists from the company who present the play in Brazil and who risk life and limb and defy threats of torture and of death to do so.</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">But not me, who perform the play in safety and comfort back home.</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">And then I look back to 1968, the year of the Institutional Act, the year revolution was sweeping the streets of Europe, when I was eighteen and so longed to be part of it.</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">But was paralysed in fear and did not dare.</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">In any case that revolution had nothing to say about gay rights, as I remember, and certainly nothing about trans rights.</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">Because in those years trans rights did not exist.</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">The word “trans” did not exist.</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">I had no words to describe myself. No framework of thought in which to reflect about myself.</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">I thought of myself as something unspeakable.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">As someone despicable and perverted and vile.</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">There was no need of generals or prisons or torturers to keep me silent. My upbringing had put them all in my head.</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">And sealed my heart in the deepest shame.</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">The process was so through I was not even aware of it. I had internalised my oppression so thoroughly that when I read its visionary analysis in Frantz Fanon I did not realise it applied to me.</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">I thought if I was unhappy it was because I was sick and deserved to be.</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">And if I ask myself what saved me from an early death from suicide or alcoholism or AIDS it was the love of my partner Susie, the love of our daughters and my obstinate conviction that I was an artist.</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">And if I think of myself resisting all that oppression and suffering and finding my voice in spite of it, and learning to love and be loved in spite of it.</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">And creating and then nourishing Queen Jesus in the face of deep isolation and hatred…</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">And now, fifty years later, still here and still creating. And still loving…</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">I think Yes. Ok Yes.</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">Yes I deserve to be here.</span></span></div>
<br />Jo Cliffordhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18386099866702074638noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3671452.post-13008409170488262032018-09-28T20:13:00.000+00:002018-09-28T20:13:32.235+00:00two tiny tin cups of coffee<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-dW5twMZk6U8-YCN_Eg35SjssFmrFI4Clo_1XA_DZVasKT-LmvZ0FqBJ2Rv3bjGccdWaN5um2dEgVTM3t3KrzNs5MisQv-ei3gVYNTKZMIi5Y0EDPKbVtkkdk5GCWAiLygZaYdw/s1600/39a94236-2e3c-4d10-9c04-c3ee2ecdcd3c.JPG" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-dW5twMZk6U8-YCN_Eg35SjssFmrFI4Clo_1XA_DZVasKT-LmvZ0FqBJ2Rv3bjGccdWaN5um2dEgVTM3t3KrzNs5MisQv-ei3gVYNTKZMIi5Y0EDPKbVtkkdk5GCWAiLygZaYdw/s320/39a94236-2e3c-4d10-9c04-c3ee2ecdcd3c.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
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<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">26th september 2018, 1435</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
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<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">(for natalia mallo)</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
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<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">Two tiny tin cups of coffee<br />
a condensed milk pudding in a jar</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">on a table on a street corner</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">in the biggest city of south america</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">nothing of importance in our human story</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">here in this city</span></span></div>
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<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">of 25 storey buildings</span></span></div>
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<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">& 10 lane highways</span></span></div>
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<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">where the traffic so often goes nowhere</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">here in this city<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">they call the macro metropolis</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">this megalopolis of more than 30 million humans</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">that defies the imagination in its vastness.</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
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<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">you & me don’t amount to much, i guess,</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">with our two tin coffee cups on a street corner</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">except in the discounted inventory</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">that measures the beauty of little things</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">not thought about much, maybe,</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">taken for granted mostly, maybe,</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">not celebrated or paid attention to</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">But I think about it</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">I treasure this moment</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">This moment so crucial in the history of the world</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">As I treasure the love and the friendship<br />
I see in your beautiful eyes</span></span></div>
<br />Jo Cliffordhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18386099866702074638noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3671452.post-6656874043644983732018-09-20T12:29:00.000+00:002018-09-20T12:29:16.153+00:00In Belo Horizonte. Coming home.....<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEQKg8PUBagh8OQnRTr_JRMN42PyFAQ80CnJH9BVeL83dYu0UmxpspqjMmDVfMYzoO5gUxAubu8b4ZV7Ic74hyQrrKq4_SVVHtu6JihTxSjeA2R1C_1RUAFib4_nE6BMf4LqpK1w/s1600/IMG_2277.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEQKg8PUBagh8OQnRTr_JRMN42PyFAQ80CnJH9BVeL83dYu0UmxpspqjMmDVfMYzoO5gUxAubu8b4ZV7Ic74hyQrrKq4_SVVHtu6JihTxSjeA2R1C_1RUAFib4_nE6BMf4LqpK1w/s320/IMG_2277.jpg" width="320" /></a><br />
<br />
<br />
I love this theatre. This is the Teatro Marilia, in Sao Paulo, where I'm performing EVE tonight.<br />
<br />
I loved it the minute I stood on its stage.<br />
<br />
The space is beautiful, open, with a lovely wooden floor, and a very intimate relationship with the audience.<br />
<br />
Perhaps it was my love for it that made this photo so fuzzy. I was sitting on the bench, which the technicians have so beautifully made for us, and feeling absolutely at home.<br />
<br />
The stage was full of the usual concentrated bustle that is the same everywhere, whenever theatre people work together, as everyone worked on aligning the screen and rigging the lights.<br />
<br />
It's amazing how at home I feel on a stage. And to think of how much effort it took to deny that in myself during all those years of exile.<br />
<br />
How that longing poured itself into all my plays.<br />
<br />
That simple longing to be home....Jo Cliffordhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18386099866702074638noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3671452.post-40817560468784901882018-09-19T13:49:00.000+00:002018-09-19T13:49:01.820+00:00EVE has reached Belo Horizonte in the hour of dawn....<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiX7P0jeUXmNXxvrfUx_iQSnnU5Gph2yZ4FiW7M27S8GvNfrJIF4bpTGKKkq_ZIREbarbr-Z5dC6zIX0IsIOh9vlwoEEkS65TkFuCRfiN4aMI2uxPEzq8dxrR6_ys41-k4BcBT5sQ/s1600/BH+dawn.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="901" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiX7P0jeUXmNXxvrfUx_iQSnnU5Gph2yZ4FiW7M27S8GvNfrJIF4bpTGKKkq_ZIREbarbr-Z5dC6zIX0IsIOh9vlwoEEkS65TkFuCRfiN4aMI2uxPEzq8dxrR6_ys41-k4BcBT5sQ/s320/BH+dawn.jpg" width="180" /></a></div>
<br />
It's amazing that yesterday I left home in Scotland at 3 am and today I can wake up in Brazil...<br />
<br />
That on Saturday I was looking at the dawn before performing the show in Nairn and this morning I'm looking at the dawn in Belo Horizonte before getting ready to perform EVE here too.<br />
<br />
I feel a bit guilty at the thought of all the environmental I'm complicit in, doing these massive flights. But the insight I have in my body is suc a profound and powerful one that we really do all live on the one planet.<br />
<br />
That what we do in Edinburgh affects what happens in Belo Horizonte, and the other way round, however helpless we may feel.<br />
<br />
That we truly are "all in this together. All of us here to love and to be loved", in the words o Queen Jesus, and EVE tells us that too in her way.<br />
<br />
Over and over again. And over and over again it has to be said and it has to be heard.<br />
<br />
And if I hurt my neighbour I am hurting myself.<br />
<br />
Said. And heard. Over and over again...<br />
<br />
And maybe eventually we'll understand.<br />
<br />
And new doors will open for everyone everywhere.....Jo Cliffordhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18386099866702074638noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3671452.post-59060541426760535002018-09-17T14:41:00.001+00:002018-09-17T14:41:16.047+00:00EVE sees Losing Venice in the Orange Tree<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DnD1s8WX0AA3ukN.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DnD1s8WX0AA3ukN.jpg" style="user-select: none;" width="213" /></a></div>
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Last Tuesday I left EVE rehearsals at one o clock to catch a taxi to Glasgow airport and began my journey to the Orange Tree Theatre in Richmond, London, to see the openinght of my LOSING VENICE.</div>
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I don't think I've ever enjoyed one of my plays more.</div>
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I thought the writing was witty and profound, the subject matter absolutely bang on the nail; the acting was fab, the directing was sensitive and clever, the designs were gorgeous; the whole thing had such a lovely pleasurable theatricality to it that was an utter joy to be with.</div>
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In short, I loved it. Maybe you have to have a gap of 30 years between writing and watching to be able to enjoy a play.</div>
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All sorts of lovely lovely people were there, and the cast were proud and happy, and so were the creative team, and the whole theatre was just a gorgeous place to be.</div>
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I walked down the road in the drizzling rain to my B and B and had an Indian takeaway and early next morning caught an early flight back to Glasgow.</div>
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And then we had a full day's rehearsal. That Wednesday was the last full day's rehearsal, in fact, before opening EVE in Nairn on Saturday.</div>
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And when I got off the train in Edinburgh that evening I was so proud and so tired and so sore I can barely walk.</div>
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But I didn't care, really. What a joy. What a total utter joy....</div>
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Jo Cliffordhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18386099866702074638noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3671452.post-7056428484905032522018-09-16T19:18:00.001+00:002018-09-16T19:18:23.404+00:00EVE lands in Nairn<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzNNr64ujjH5asZMmecuPfOkPM-2ZzQTQXWP1AZSfgrbk4T9ZjwkPI9BsK9lwhTplQ9fhlivEmJ_WdcmF3jcvb_loA9ooWavOhZeJf0174rVsrV0MMp8txnafkQVifeMDAs2knbQ/s1600/eve+in+nairn.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzNNr64ujjH5asZMmecuPfOkPM-2ZzQTQXWP1AZSfgrbk4T9ZjwkPI9BsK9lwhTplQ9fhlivEmJ_WdcmF3jcvb_loA9ooWavOhZeJf0174rVsrV0MMp8txnafkQVifeMDAs2knbQ/s320/eve+in+nairn.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
EVE got a new dress for Nairn.<br />
<br />
I loved the old one: grey, full length, raw silk, with a gorgeous turquoise at the hem which echoed the colour of the floor.<br />
<br />
But it didn't fit the new production.<br />
<br />
Because the floor's gone, and the bench with lights in it, and the elaborate triptych of screens...<br />
<br />
We've pared everything down so the show can be taken anywhere.<br />
<br />
And Nairn was the first destination.<br />
<br />
Nairn's a lovely place: amazing light, beautiful golden sands, handsome Victorian villas.<br />
<br />
Lots of guest houses and care homes...<br />
<br />
I wouldn't say it was a centre of well informed concern about LGBT issues, so I did occasionally wonder how the audience might response to our autobiographical tale of a trans woman.<br />
<br />
We were told afterwards that Nairn audiences do have a tendency to wriggle. And that when they wriggle, their seats creak.<br />
<br />
But last night there were no wriggles and no creaks.<br />
<br />
And we were also told that Nairn audiences generally don't, under any circumstances, stand up to applaud at the end.<br />
<br />
But this audience did.<br />
<br />
We must have been doing something right. But so did they. They were truly lovely.<br />
<br />
So this morning we all left happy.<br />
<br />
And began to pack for Brazil...<br />
<br />
<br />Jo Cliffordhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18386099866702074638noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3671452.post-45508736958340265462018-09-15T08:36:00.001+00:002018-09-15T08:36:10.877+00:00THE ADVENTURES OF EVE. In Nairn...<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVIap_tSZ22G9Mc6BiDWBMTJB0IYFArS8YMyUKqM4_XYOXYl9Eh5cOg4UQZdyZrFF4oKzzEWT-kEKUI0vXHXKOP5th3wWDENrwx_EF-8_qotGhDVE-zM5gDZFTljt-raURbuAOgA/s1600/IMG_8542.JPG" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVIap_tSZ22G9Mc6BiDWBMTJB0IYFArS8YMyUKqM4_XYOXYl9Eh5cOg4UQZdyZrFF4oKzzEWT-kEKUI0vXHXKOP5th3wWDENrwx_EF-8_qotGhDVE-zM5gDZFTljt-raURbuAOgA/s400/IMG_8542.JPG" width="300" /></a><br />
<br />
The second train was very crowded.<br />
<br />
It only had two carriages, and it wasn't enough.<br />
<br />
I thought I was lucky to get a seat at a table with only one other person.<br />
<br />
He had a large leather bag which he'd put in the centre of the luggage rack in such a way that it took up the whole space.<br />
<br />
And when I sat down in the outer corner of the table I discovered he had placed his large body in such a way that it took up the whole of the other three spaces and left me very little room on the fourth.<br />
<br />
And the table was full of his things: his wallet, his phone, his copy of the Sun.<br />
<br />
But he wasn't looking angry or defensive or aggressive or guilty. He was just there, and obviously in his eyes he had every right to be there.<br />
<br />
His self assurance was so impregnable, somehow, that I couldn't find even a chink in it.<br />
<br />
I said nothing, tried to take up as little space as possible, and tucked my legs under the table.<br />
<br />
And I thought that resisting this is one of the things our EVE is all about.<br />
<br />
That was a little consolation.<br />
<br />
And then I got to Nairn; and it is, as you see, just beautiful.Jo Cliffordhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18386099866702074638noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3671452.post-64651209951028135472018-07-29T17:27:00.001+00:002018-07-29T17:27:44.981+00:00Epitaph for a festival that collaborates with its censors<br />
<br />
Yesterday I was so relieved and happy that my dear friends and colleagues Renata Carvalho and Natalia Mallo and our sister theatre company had safely got away from the danger they were in as they presented my play "The Gospel According To Jesus Queen of Heaven" in the winter festival of the Brazilian city of Garanhuns.<br />
<br />
And I was proud they acquitted themselves so well in the chaos and the danger of that final performance. They made an incredibly powerful and courageous stand for human rights and for artistic freedom of expression.<br />
<br />
I am still so proud of them today. Proud, also, that we work together and that this Brazilian version of the play is our joint creation.<br />
<br />
But I am also furiously angry. The way they've been treated by this festival and this city is a total disgrace.<br />
<br />
What kind of festival is it, I ask myself, that operates under the slogan "Long Live Liberty"; that invites a play to be part of it, and then abruptly withdraws the invitation at the last minute because it allegedly offends the Christian church. Is that how you celebrate liberty?<br />
<br />
And what kind of festival is it that having been told its actions in withdrawing the invitation are illegal, cancels its cancellation, re-inserts the play into its programme, and then withdraws it again just as the performance is beginning?<br />
<br />
What kind of festival is it that then stands by while armed police arrive in armoured vans, cut off power to the production's sound system, cut off the power of its lighting? A police force that first attempts to lock the public out of the theatre, and then, having failed to do so, takes the seating away from the audience and removes the cover of the theatre, forcing audience and performer to endure the pouring rain?<br />
<br />
What kind of festival is it that not only fails to protect its artists but also literally dismantles their performance space while they are performing?<br />
<br />
It has a name. It's called the Festival Internacional de Garanhuns, FIG for short. And no self respecting artist should ever agree to perform there again.<br />
<br />
And what kind of mayor, I ask myself, having been given the opportunity to welcome artists and public to his city's arts festival and the opportunity to present his city as a diverse, safe and welcoming place... chooses instead to broadcast and celebrate its prejudice and hatred?<br />
<br />
He has a name: Izaias Regis. And he has covered his city in ignominy and in shame.<br />
<br />
And what kind of High Court judge, I ask myself, grants an injunction prohibiting a play's performance and displays in his judgement a total ignorance of the play's meaning and content?<br />
<br />
What kind of High Court judge hands out a judgement that contradicts both the laws and the constitution of his own country? The country whose legal system he is supposed to be upholding?<br />
<br />
What kind of High Court judge could possibly be so ignorant and so prejudiced as to do that?<br />
<br />
He too has a name: Roberto da Silva Maia. He is a total disgrace to his profession.<br />
<br />
And what kind of religious leader, I ask myself, so manifestly and shamelessly fails to protect and defend the victims of prejudice in his diocese? So disgracefully misleads his flock by failing to uphold the one commandment Jesus said was at the centre of his whole teaching?<br />
<br />
It is the commandment to love your neighbour as yourself, Dom Paulo Jackson Nóbrega de Sousa, Bishop of Garanhuns. Please think about it.<br />
<br />
And as for you, Association of Evangelical Pastors of Garanhuns, Jesus knew the likes of you.<br />
<br />
He knew you only too well. He never denounced the likes of me or Renata Carvalho. But He denounced you. Over and over again. Doctors of the law, pharisees, hypocrites. Whited sepulchres. Hearts of stone.<br />
<br />
You and your like crucified Jesus. Just as you threatened to crucify Renata if she performed on the stage.<br />
<br />
You call yourselves followers of Christ but you are his worst enemies.<br />
<br />
But thank you, artists and public of Garanhuns who raised the funds to enable our play to be performed in spite of censorship. Thank you for attending both performances. Thank you for staying to the very end of the second performance and giving these brave theatre artists the welcome, support and protection the festival so shamefully failed to give them.<br />
<br />
You represent the best of your city.<br />
<br />
As for you, FIG... do you remember the gospel story of the fig tree in Bethany that gave Jesus no fruit? He cursed it and it withered and never gave fruit again.<br />
<br />
You will carry this disgrace round your neck like a millstone.<br />
<br />
And in your present form you, too, will wither and die.<br />
<br />
No good will ever come from you again.Jo Cliffordhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18386099866702074638noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3671452.post-75615112558170365422018-07-28T07:33:00.003+00:002018-07-28T07:33:48.863+00:00EVANGELICALS TRY AGAIN TO PREVENT THE PERFORMANCE OF QUEEN JESUS. ACTRESS AND AUDIENCE OCCUPY THE THEATRE<br />
<div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="aqpsq" data-offset-key="bptg6-0-0" style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; white-space: pre-wrap;">
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<span data-offset-key="bptg6-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;">Evangelicals are still trying to prevent the performance of my "Gospel According to Jesus Queen of Heaven" in Garanhuns.</span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="bptg6-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;">Natalia Mallo, the director and translator describes what happened last night:</span></div>
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<div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="aqpsq" data-offset-key="b7ct-0-0" style="color: #1d2129; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; white-space: pre-wrap;">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="b7ct-0-0" style="background-color: white; direction: ltr; font-family: inherit; position: relative;">
<span data-offset-key="b7ct-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;">Everything was fine in the first performance. In the interval, there was an explosion and a lot of smoke. </span></div>
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="b7ct-0-0" style="background-color: white; direction: ltr; font-family: inherit; position: relative;">
<span data-offset-key="b7ct-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="b7ct-0-0" style="background-color: white; direction: ltr; font-family: inherit; position: relative;">
<span data-offset-key="b7ct-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;">A feeling of foreboding. After they'd let off smoke bombs in the space, an injunction arrived (requested by the Order of Evangelical Pastors), ordering another cancellation of the performance. </span></div>
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="b7ct-0-0" style="background-color: white; direction: ltr; font-family: inherit; position: relative;">
<span data-offset-key="b7ct-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="b7ct-0-0" style="background-color: white; direction: ltr; font-family: inherit; position: relative;">
<span data-offset-key="b7ct-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;">We decided not to obey it. Then the security guards the theatre festival had hired turned against us, and barred the entrance of the audience.</span></div>
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="b7ct-0-0" style="background-color: white; direction: ltr; font-family: inherit; position: relative;">
<span data-offset-key="b7ct-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="b7ct-0-0" style="direction: ltr; font-family: inherit; position: relative;">
<span data-offset-key="b7ct-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white;"> </span><span style="background-color: #dce6f8;">Renata Carvalho</span></span><span data-offset-key="b7ct-2-0" style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;">had had enough. She screamed at the guards and called them cowards. There was no stopping her. They asked me to calm her down. I refused. Let them listen. I stayed calm, I gave my support. </span></div>
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="b7ct-0-0" style="background-color: white; direction: ltr; font-family: inherit; position: relative;">
<span data-offset-key="b7ct-2-0" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="b7ct-0-0" style="background-color: white; direction: ltr; font-family: inherit; position: relative;">
<span data-offset-key="b7ct-2-0" style="font-family: inherit;">Renata forcibly opened the doors and asked the audience outside to occupy the space. Which they did, shouting "Fascists!" at the guards.</span></div>
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="b7ct-0-0" style="background-color: white; direction: ltr; font-family: inherit; position: relative;">
<span data-offset-key="b7ct-2-0" style="font-family: inherit;"> </span></div>
</div>
<div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="aqpsq" data-offset-key="4o31n-0-0" style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; white-space: pre-wrap;">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="4o31n-0-0" style="direction: ltr; font-family: inherit; position: relative;">
<span data-offset-key="4o31n-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;">We tore up the injunction, and while the guards were filling out incident forms we began the show. </span></div>
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="4o31n-0-0" style="direction: ltr; font-family: inherit; position: relative;">
<span data-offset-key="4o31n-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="aqpsq" data-offset-key="5ucr4-0-0" style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; white-space: pre-wrap;">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="5ucr4-0-0" style="direction: ltr; font-family: inherit; position: relative;">
<span data-offset-key="5ucr4-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;">They cut the sound. I sang the soundtrack.</span></div>
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="5ucr4-0-0" style="direction: ltr; font-family: inherit; position: relative;">
<span data-offset-key="5ucr4-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="aqpsq" data-offset-key="dgog7-0-0" style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; white-space: pre-wrap;">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="dgog7-0-0" style="direction: ltr; font-family: inherit; position: relative;">
<span data-offset-key="dgog7-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;">They cut the lights. The show went on.</span></div>
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="dgog7-0-0" style="direction: ltr; font-family: inherit; position: relative;">
<span data-offset-key="dgog7-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="aqpsq" data-offset-key="as5au-0-0" style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; white-space: pre-wrap;">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="as5au-0-0" style="direction: ltr; font-family: inherit; position: relative;">
<span data-offset-key="as5au-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;">They tore down the awning that protected us from the rain. The show went on.</span></div>
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="as5au-0-0" style="direction: ltr; font-family: inherit; position: relative;">
<span data-offset-key="as5au-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="aqpsq" data-offset-key="6cni6-0-0" style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; white-space: pre-wrap;">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="6cni6-0-0" style="direction: ltr; font-family: inherit; position: relative;">
<span data-offset-key="6cni6-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;">The audience stayed to the end, and they protected us.</span></div>
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="6cni6-0-0" style="direction: ltr; font-family: inherit; position: relative;">
<span data-offset-key="6cni6-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="aqpsq" data-offset-key="3ms74-0-0" style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; white-space: pre-wrap;">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="3ms74-0-0" style="direction: ltr; font-family: inherit; position: relative;">
<span data-offset-key="3ms74-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;">And now, just when we thought it was all over, a new judicial decision has come out ordering the Festival to programme the show today (Saturday). </span></div>
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="3ms74-0-0" style="direction: ltr; font-family: inherit; position: relative;">
<span data-offset-key="3ms74-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="3ms74-0-0" style="direction: ltr; font-family: inherit; position: relative;">
<span data-offset-key="3ms74-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;">Who knows what will happen next...."</span></div>
</div>
Jo Cliffordhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18386099866702074638noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3671452.post-24062187160313443312018-07-23T21:14:00.000+00:002018-07-23T21:14:15.342+00:00A letter to the Christians of Garanhuns, in the state of Pernambuco, Brazil.<br />
<br />
Dear friends,<br />
<br />
I'm Jo Clifford, the author of the play "The Gospel According to Jesus, Queen of Heaven". I'm told you're deeply offended by my play and don't want it to be performed in your city.<br />
<br />
Something happened to me when I was in church yesterday that I wanted to tell you about.<br />
<br />
The congregation have mostly seen the play, because I've performed it in church a few times, and are really interested in what's going on with it.<br />
<br />
So I stood up and told them about your winter festival, and how lovely your city is, and how the play had been invited to be part of it.<br />
<br />
And the Festival's theme was "Long Live Liberty!" but that sadly somehow that didn't apply to the play and the town council had banned it.<br />
<br />
How many artists of your city had been outraged by the ban, and had organised a crowdfunding, which had gone so well that they'd raised enough to pay the company to perform the play on Friday, when it was scheduled.<br />
<br />
And how they'd sold so many tickets too.<br />
<br />
But how sad it is that the location has to be secret, because of the horrible threats that the actress, Renata Carvalho, and the company and organisers have all received.<br />
<br />
I said how distressed I feel that my words should have caused such deep offence and how concerned I am for the safety of my colleagues and friends.<br />
<br />
I asked them to remember the play and everyone concerned about it in their prayers on Friday.<br />
<br />
And of course that includes you.<br />
<br />
It may surprise you to know that I go to church regularly and that it is an important part of my life. I believe there is a spiritual dimension to our lives, and that it is important to recognise it in individual prayer and meditation, but also to find ways of expressing and exploring it in a collective and social way.<br />
<br />
And I enjoy singing the hymns, I get moved by the prayers, I'm always interested in the sermons, and I love being part of a community of people who, like me, are distressed by the injustice and suffering in the world and want to do what we can to make it a better place for everybody.<br />
<br />
As I was leaving, I thought of you coming to church over in the other side of the world from me and how that's probably true of you, too.<br />
<br />
And that made me want to reach out to you, somehow.<br />
<br />
You don't have to change your mind about my play. Everyone has the right to their own opinions.<br />
<br />
(Though of course I'd love it if you could read it, or even hear a bit of it. I'd so love to know what you thought)<br />
<br />
But I do want to tell you that I'm sorry if I've made you feel angry, or offended, or under attack.<br />
<br />
That wasn't my intention at all. I wrote the play 11 or 12 years ago. I was in my mid fifties. I'd done everything I could to live as a man, and had tried my best to be a good husband and father. My daughters had grown up and left home, my wife had died of a brain tumour. I found I couldn't suppress the feeling I'd had all my life of not really being a man. I simply couldn't bear living as a man any more.<br />
<br />
I felt I'd done my duty as a husband and a father, and that I simply had to live as a woman.<br />
<br />
It was very difficult. I was very afraid. And people would laugh at me in the street and shout abuse at me.<br />
<br />
Around that time I was asked to write a play about the New Testament. And at first I didn't know what to do.<br />
<br />
But as I read the Gospels over and over again, I was so moved by the teaching and the life of Jesus. What I loved and admired especially was the way he reached out to people who were the victims of rejection, of prejudice and oppression. Of how, when he took human form, he did not come down to earth as someone rich and powerful, but as someone poor and oppressed.<br />
<br />
So that when I imagined him returning to earth in the present day, it seemed appropriate and in line with tradition to imagine him taking the form of someone oppressed and rejected: of a transwoman like me.<br />
<br />
And I hoped that maybe if I retold some of his sayings that way, I'd be able to communicate something of the deep love and devotion I feel for him to people who go to church and perhaps especially to people who don't.<br />
<br />
I'm really proud and happy that that seems to happen when people see the play performed - in my country, Scotland, in Ireland and in England, In Uruguay and Argentina, and above all in Brazil.<br />
<br />
I do hope one day we, too, can communicate with each other.<br />
<br />
In the meantime, please believe me when i say I sincerely wish you wll.<br />
<br />
Respectfully,<br />
<br />
Jo Clifford.<br />
<br />
<br />Jo Cliffordhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18386099866702074638noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3671452.post-20580280291556829472018-06-07T12:06:00.000+00:002018-06-07T12:06:10.869+00:00Open Letter to Marcelo Crivella, Mayor of Rio de Janeiro and Bishop of the Universal Church of the Kingdom of God<br />
<br />
Dear Bishop Crivella,<br />
<br />
I am Jo Clifford, the author of the play "The Gospel According To Jesus Queen Of Heaven" whose performances you are doing your utmost to prevent on the grounds that they are offensive to religion.<br />
<br />
I am so glad that at least we both agree on the importance of religion. Like you I don't want to see it insulted or denigrated in any way.<br />
<br />
It matters so much in this sad and cruel world that we all try to live the way Jesus taught us and that we try to love and respect each other as best we can.<br />
<br />
I am sure we can agree on this. And I have to tell you, my friend, that this is all in my play if only you could see it.<br />
<br />
I am sorry that you can't. Sorry, too, to see so much suffering and confusion in your eyes as you try to justify the censorship of the play.<br />
<br />
Of course you'll know the story that Jesus told of the woman who was making bread and who mixed a tiny amount of yeast into the dough and how it worked its way through "about sixty pounds of flour".<br />
<br />
He said the Kingdom of Heaven was like that.<br />
<br />
Me and my play, and the brave devoted souls who are producing it, and all the good people who have seen it and will see it in the future in your beautiful city of Rio de Janeiro and all over the world... We are that yeast and we are changing the world. Bit by bit it is becoming a more open and loving and accepting place. Somewhere where all God's children have the right to live in justice and in peace.<br />
<br />
And you cannot stop us.<br />
<br />
I understand you cannot see the play on this occasion but please read it. I can easily arrange for it to be sent you in Portuguese.<br />
<br />
Of course you don't have to agree with it. I would never dream of interfering with your freedom to feel and respond to my work in any way seems best to you.<br />
<br />
In the meantime I send you all my good will and my deep wish that you find peace and happiness.<br />
<br />
Sincerely,<br />
<br />
Jo CliffordJo Cliffordhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18386099866702074638noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3671452.post-39123586109273336862018-04-24T14:11:00.001+00:002018-04-24T14:11:28.192+00:00Dear Scotland<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGUVpAvFu5zcbcEaRM1lcRl9_Hgndy-xcJa6_bZQ5Eq3Zai6MOKP1VnZ-zqns248XBk-S7Z_ZerJztvtfTJTRUc5v54k0eIfbtDiRTXv6CLdbfFaUYk9SL7v1VuSDPayFo5s71UQ/s1600/poets-pub.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1193" data-original-width="1600" height="238" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGUVpAvFu5zcbcEaRM1lcRl9_Hgndy-xcJa6_bZQ5Eq3Zai6MOKP1VnZ-zqns248XBk-S7Z_ZerJztvtfTJTRUc5v54k0eIfbtDiRTXv6CLdbfFaUYk9SL7v1VuSDPayFo5s71UQ/s320/poets-pub.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
Four years ago, the NTS asked me to write a monologue inspired by a picture in the Scottish National Portrait Gallery.<br />
<br />
I chose this - 'Poet's Pub' by Alexander Moffat - and I gave voice to the faceless woman sitting on the left hand side.<br />
<br />
It was beautifully performed by Sally Reid at the time and then, later that year, not so beautifully performed by me in pro-Independence rallies.<br />
<br />
A dear friend has aksed to read it because she says it sounds important still.<br />
<br />
And I think so too...<br />
<br />
<br />
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<br />
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">DEAR SCOTLAND</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">Nothing dear about you Scotland. You vile country.</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">You with your cold dark days.</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">You with your rain that stings my face<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">You with your hard grey streets, your dirty windows</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">You with your niggardly closed off minds.</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">You with your instinct to cut everyone down to size</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">You who find it so hard to praise anyone or anything.</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">You who always want to fail</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">Because you’re frightened of succeeding.</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">Always happier for things to go wrong</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">So you can blame someone else for it.</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">I hate you Scotland.</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">I hate your poets.</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">Look at them. So-called alpha males.</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">Look at them talking talking talking.</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">They never stop. Never.</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">Look at the way they toady up to that old man <span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">Or say vile things about him behind his back</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">That old man with his filthy pipe and his tartan scarf</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">Praising Lenin and the power of the people</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">Declaiming all the time in that ridiculous made-up language of his</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">That’s supposed to be Scots but which no-one can understand</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">He looked up words in the dictionary and he learned them off by heart</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">Not because he wanted to communicate but because he wanted to impress and intimidate.</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">And them in their pecking order all about him.</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">Look at them. Bunch of pricks.</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">Not that their pricks are up to much.</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">I know because I’ve had most of them inside me,</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">Waggling about or pumping up and down</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">Up and down up and down in the dreariest kind of way</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">And then me afterwards smiling saying you were wonderful</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">It was a skill I had.</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">And they all loved me for it, and the way I moaned</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">And that’s why I’m painted naked with my red stockings on</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">To show that I’m available.</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">But then see how it’s also kind of hidden that I’m naked because that. dear Scotland,</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">That’s just the way you feel. Just the way you feel about sex,</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">Kind of furtive and ashamed, and the way you feel about feelings too.</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">Why you will keep drinking just to blank them out.</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">You’ve blanked us out too, dear Scotland, kept us at the edge of things</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">Me and Liberté and Jenny in the courtyard</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">Not even bothered to paint our faces and denied us names.</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">So it’s the names, Scotland, it’s the names I’ll tell you first:</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">Liberté’s name is Marie Deschamps and she fought on the barricades</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">And that’s Jenny in the courtyard.</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">And I’m Stella and I belong in the stars.</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">Jenny’s dead now. She worked the streets to support her child</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">And she was a better human being than the whole lot of you.</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">You with your fine words and your frightened hearts.</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">You’d have used her for your furtive pleasures only she made you pay.</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">But me I gave it you for nothing.</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">I let myself be used.</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">Don’t judge me for that, Scotland, because you’re the same.</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">You’ve made yourself available</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">You’ve let yourself be colonised.</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">They’ve colonised your resources and they’ve colonised your minds</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">And then you believe them, Scotland, when they tell you you’re no good</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">And can’t be trusted to run your own affairs.</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">That’s why the Scotland I lived in was so very small.</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">Why I’m the same, Scotland, the same as you</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">Why I let myself be despoiled</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">Why I wrote my poems in the darkness</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">And never let them come to light.</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">That’s why I drank myself to death.</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">But it doesn’t have to be this way</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">Don’t believe them when they tell you so</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">the squalor of alcohol</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">defeat and failure, Scotland,</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">the resigned and twisted bitterness</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">That’s not for you.</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">The old man wasn’t altogether wrong, Scotland,</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">When he said poetry should be at the centre of your life.</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">I loved him once. I loved them all.</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">Maybe I wouldn’t say poetry</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">Maybe I’d say love</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">Maybe I’d say creativity</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">Maybe I’d say they should be at the beating heart of things.</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">Whatever. I won’t argue.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">But don’t leave me at the edge, Scotland.</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">And don’t deny my name. Acknowledge me.</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">I don’t mind being naked. I refuse to be ashamed.</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">But right now, Scotland, when school children notice that I have no clothes</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">They get hurried on.</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">You see, Scotland, you’re still so prudish when it comes to sex.</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">But your children should be fearless, unashamed.</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">Don’t perpetuate abuse and shame.</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">Don’t believe them when they tell you there is no other way</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">Don’t believe them when they tell you they cannot help committing crimes.</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">They’re wrong. They’re very wrong. There is another way.</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">I was gifted, Scotland.</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">I was different, Scotland.</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">I laughed. I danced</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">I loved my body and I loved to live.</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">Yet I destroyed myself because there was no place for me.</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">I was clever when there was no space for women’s cleverness</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">So I drank myself stupid and I felt ashamed.</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">Don’t be ashamed, Scotland</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">Don’t be ashamed to be women</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">Don’t be ashamed to be men</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">Don’t be ashamed to be people of both genders or of none</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">Listen to those of us who don’t fit in. Cherish your outcasts.</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">Because on that day, Scotland,<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">That day you’ll build the road to freedom.</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">That day freedom will be at the centre of your picture</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">And the face she’ll wear will be your own.</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">END</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<br />Jo Cliffordhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18386099866702074638noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3671452.post-28098136260736379882018-04-23T15:08:00.000+00:002018-04-23T15:08:32.443+00:00Transphobia kills<br />
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<br />
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">A friend died last week. I say “friend” though I hardly knew them.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">It is just I so wanted to know them more.</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">Several years ago they came out to me as trans, and I so wanted to help them.</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">It was difficult because they said they had given up hope. They didn’t believe it was possible they could ever be open about who they were because they felt so deeply ashamed.</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">I told them…I told them all the things you would tell someone in such a position. I was sure they would feel better if they could be open about who they were.</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">I said that in my experience the whole process of transitioning had been very difficult, but far less difficult that I had thought it would be.</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">It was hard to believe, sometimes, in the torment they were suffering. Because they came across as an outgoing, friendly person, always with a kind word.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">But they said sometimes they just couldn’t bear to see anyone or to be seen at all.</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">I said I was sorry but the feeling would not go away. The only way through it is to do the one thing we are most afraid of but also want to do more than anything in the world. I said that if they decided to begin to live as a woman people in our church would support them, because I know they would.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">And I said I would help them in any wayI could.</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">And they smiled<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>sadly and said they didn’t think they could do that.</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">And then I started to see them less and less.</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">And now they’re gone.</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">I heard the news just as I was about to go on stage. I was performing with 12 other women in a remarkable and visionary art installation by Tai Shani at the Tramway. She had created a beautiful space that represented the City of Women imagined by the 14th century Cristine de Pizan. And we were to embody the free citizens of a post patriarchal future.</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">And so I did that as best I could.</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">I thought of how when I was still forced to live as a man I was at heart so ashamed that performing was completely blocked for me. Of the twenty years of struggle it took me to find my voice as a writer. Of the catcalls and the shouting and the insults and abuse that pursued me as I started to go out as a woman.</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">Of the women who, when last year I was awarded the award of being one of the Ten Outstanding Women of Scotland, took such a venomous pleasure in telling me I was a man. And who said that if I had a single shred of human decency in me I would renounce the award. Because it was not mine.</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
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<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">The hatred we face is still so real and often, too, it is lodged deep inside ourselves. I know it caused the death of my friend.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
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<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">In the words of our Brazilian sisters: “Transphobia kills”.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
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<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">And I so wish, my dear, I could call you by your true name. I hope at least you told someone so that it has not remained unknown for ever.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">Whenever we met she, and I will call her she, she would greet me affectionately and call me “Big Bird”in the tender playful way of hers.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: small;">Fly into the kind night, little bird. Fly into the unknown darkness. I hope you come out in a safer and more loving world.</span></span></div>
<br />Jo Cliffordhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18386099866702074638noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3671452.post-22027761849703183282018-04-09T15:37:00.000+00:002018-04-09T15:37:01.420+00:00Kindness and collective creativity with Queen Jesus in Dumfries<br />
We took Queen Jesus to Dumfries yesterday.<br />
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Dumfries is a handsome town, with a rather sad town centre full of empty properties.<br />
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Somehow it was no surprise to find our venue, The Stove, was at the heart of a community initiative for urban renewal. As well as being a crucial centre for the LGBTI community<br />
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<a href="http://www.thestove.org/" target="_blank">http://www.thestove.org/</a><br />
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That made it very good to be performing there. Our performance was part of an incredibly important collective effort to create a community.<br />
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And i could feel it as I sat on the first floor landing of the venue in my costume, ready for the call to begin. There was a great buzz of engaged conversation and a beautiful vibe floating up the stairs.<br />
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It was especially good to hear it, because we'd only had about 4 hours in the venue to prepare.<br />
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Queen Jesus turns up at her venues with some bread, some tea lights, and very little else.And we tailor the shape of the performance to the shape of the space.<br />
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The Stove is basically a shop that's used as cafe. We decided to put all the tables into a long line and have the audience sit at them, as if at the Last Supper. There was just about enough space at each side for me to move around, perform at either end and sometimes in the gap in the middle that we needed for the fire exit.<br />
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I operated one set of light switches, our director St Susan of the Light Switches the other. The windows were more or less covered with blinds. We had time for one stagger through, working out where I would be more or less in this performance layout we had never tried before... and we were off.<br />
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It all looked lovely. The tea lights, the candles, the daffodils in glass jars, the beautiful attentive face of the capacity audience... I felt safe and happy and I think everyone felt the same.<br />
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And we were looked after so beautifully by Leo Juniper Barrett, of Lavender Menace, Dumfries who had invited us.<br />
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<a href="https://www.facebook.com/lavendermenacedumfries/" target="_blank">https://www.facebook.com/lavendermenacedumfries/</a><br />
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It was one of those days when hospitality and kindness and human warmth and collective creativity all come together and create something especially beautiful<br />
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<br />Jo Cliffordhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18386099866702074638noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3671452.post-73102170867803997402018-04-05T11:39:00.001+00:002018-04-05T11:39:34.256+00:00What we say and what we do really matters<br />
At the beginning of the Passion Play on Sunday, I noticed an old lady in the audience. She was walking with a zimmer, and she had a special air about her. An air of happiness and determination, somehow.<br />
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I saw her watching all the scenes in the manse grounds, and then in the Stations of the Cross going round Duddingston village.<br />
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She was there at the foot of the Cross also.<br />
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Then I became preoccupied with standing in the right place and saying the right words, and I lost sight of her.<br />
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But apparently she saw everything. And that night she phoned the minister, the lovely Jim Jack, to say it was the best Easter she had ever had.<br />
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And last night, suddenly and unexpectedly, she died.<br />
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Her name was Grace.<br />
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It moves me so profoundly to think that we contributed to her happiness on almost her last day on this earth.<br />
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And it reminds me that everything we say and do, and every human encounter we have, can have consequences far beyond what we imagine or expect.<br />
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I guess as an artist I'm especially aware of this. Aware of this as a writer - especially this week as I finish off my radio plays about death - and particularly aware as a performer. Because I am always encountering people, often without being aware of it, and these encounters have consequences.<br />
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I want the consequences to be good.<br />
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I want the art I create to make this world a better place, even in the tiniest of ways, and I want the experience of those who witness it to be positive.<br />
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We all have such a responsibility for the well-being of the world.<br />
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I feel so helpless sometimes, which is why it does me such good to hear of people like Grace.<br />
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And as Calderon says, "the good you do is never lost. Not even in dreams."Jo Cliffordhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18386099866702074638noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3671452.post-22621761745079496502018-04-03T16:35:00.002+00:002018-04-03T16:35:31.225+00:00Lies lies and more lies<br />
I know it's a waste of time to get cross with the British press for lying. It does it all the time.<br />
<br />
But the abuse that has been heaped on Jeremy Corbyn for being anti semitic and that culminated today in him being accused of it again because he attended a Passover celebration...<br />
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It is more than grotesque.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2018/apr/03/jeremy-corbyn-passover-jewdas-good-news?CMP=share_btn_fb" target="_blank">https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2018/apr/03/jeremy-corbyn-passover-jewdas-good-news?CMP=share_btn_fb</a><br />
<br />
And the abuse he suffered for suggesting that we should not rush to the conclusion that the Russians poisoned the ex-spy and his daughter in Salisbury...<br />
<br />
His stance there, too, has been shown to be justified.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2018/apr/03/porton-down-experts-unable-to-verify-precise-source-of-novichok" target="_blank">https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2018/apr/03/porton-down-experts-unable-to-verify-precise-source-of-novichok</a><br />
<br />
And this from the paper that disgracefully collaborated in both campaigns of smear and abuse.<br />
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I am glad at least they are correcting it.<br />
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Perhaps at least for a day or so I can glimpse the news without being convulsed by fury.Jo Cliffordhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18386099866702074638noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3671452.post-3091370886849511912018-04-01T19:39:00.000+00:002018-04-01T19:39:36.018+00:00Angelic roots....<br />
In theory, it's quite simple being the Angel in the Duddingston Passion Play. You just have to be present.<br />
<br />
The Angel is there from the very beginning, when Jesus blesses the bread and the wine for the last supper. She is there when Jesus blesses the children, and reminds us that we have a light and we must allow that light to shine.<br />
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She is there when Pilate and the High Priest interrogate Jesus; when Pilate reluctantly condemns him to death. When Pilate washes his hands of the crime.<br />
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And she is there when Jesus picks up his cross and carries it to his death.<br />
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She is there at the foot of the cross; there when his dead body is taken down from the cross; and there when the women are wailing at the empty tomb.<br />
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And it is there that she comforts the women and announces that Christ has risen from the dead.<br />
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All this happens in th presence of the forty or so members of the cast, and the hundreds of people in the audience. Some of whom were weeping as they followed Jesus on his journey to the cross.<br />
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It is such a profound thing to live through, and it had an added dimension because I was also with my sisters. With Annabel Cooper, showing the film of Queen Jesus to Trans Pride in Leeds. With Fabiana Fine who has so recently performed as Queen Jesus in Montevideo. With Renata Carvalho and Natalia Mallo presenting the play in the Anglican cathedral of Curitiba in Brazil.<br />
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All on Easter Sunday.<br />
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And then a long pause, while I try to think about what this all means.<br />
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Then I remember that the lines I speak in the play are directly derived from the old liturgical question and answer: "Quem quaeritis?".<br />
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This is the question the angel asks the women at the tomb. Who are you seeking? And they say they are looking for Jesus. And the angel says he is not there, he has risen. Just as I say...<br />
<br />
And then I remember that this became the origin of a huge number of medieval religious plays. And that these plays then gave rise to European theatre.<br />
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And that means that what we are doing as we present Queen Jesus has very deep and very ancient roots.<br />
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And somehow that makes me happy and proud; and makes me all the more convinced that what we are doing is right.<br />
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<br />Jo Cliffordhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18386099866702074638noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3671452.post-49935370887133771932018-03-31T18:51:00.000+00:002018-03-31T18:51:07.008+00:00A cold wet angel does her bit<br />
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"Are you ready for the snow?" Facebook started asking me. Not very helpfully, I thought, given that I was going to an outdoor rehearsal of tomorrow's passion play.<br />
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I mean, I did what I could: I was wearing two layers of thermal underwear and a couple of shawls that went with my costume. Which in the end I didn't wear, because the director, being at heart a kindly soul, didn't insist we wear costume. Even though it was supposed to be a dress rehearsal.<br />
<br />
So, wearing a slightly eccentric selection of outdoor garments, we all set off into the great outdoors.<br />
<br />
The play follows a well worn route round the grounds of the kirk and the manse and then round the village, with a wonderful tea break half way round. And I drank some utterly gorgeous tea, ate some jammie dodger biscuits, recommended a book called "The Master and Marguerita" to Pontius Pilate (knowing he'd enjoy it) before admiring Jesus who was looking especially fetching in his crown of thorns. As he ate a bag of crisps.<br />
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And Jesus carried his cross round Duddingston village.<br />
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There is something about being involved in the re-enactment of Christ's sufferings in the middle of people's streets and houses that makes it unbearably poignant, somehow.<br />
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And I guess it was only appropriate that it was during the crucifixion scene that it actually did start snowing.<br />
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And then I did my scene and led the way back, limping somewhat on my swollen ankles, all the way to the church hall where we all began.<br />
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The hall was beautifully heated and felt like heaven.<br />
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And the forecast is for sunshine tomorrow.Jo Cliffordhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18386099866702074638noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3671452.post-31738490986031315112018-03-30T20:54:00.003+00:002018-03-30T20:54:52.085+00:00Bread for Trans Pride everywhere...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1COOyhGTM0Uzj_XIBiOfoEtogXZOdnCvDKNN5HareF2ySpWT8rPKvgDGBCa0to8eySKBHtiy4nY-eyFEPMTeHmin_qRAl88nTcFs8yPEIgvCJvr_y1KuCocrKup5GvG-cnzFbKQ/s1600/bread+for+leeds.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1COOyhGTM0Uzj_XIBiOfoEtogXZOdnCvDKNN5HareF2ySpWT8rPKvgDGBCa0to8eySKBHtiy4nY-eyFEPMTeHmin_qRAl88nTcFs8yPEIgvCJvr_y1KuCocrKup5GvG-cnzFbKQ/s320/bread+for+leeds.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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When I was young I wanted to hide away.</div>
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I think almost of all of us did. Yet this weekend we're celebrating trans visibility day. This weekend there are two trans pride events that never existed before. One in Leeds, one here in Edinburgh.</div>
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That's an amazing achievement.</div>
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This is me holding the loaf of bread I made for Leeds. Queen Jesus' wonderful producer, Annabel Cooper, is taking it there when she goes to introduce the film we made of the performance in St Mark's church in 2005.</div>
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I'm happy because even though I can't perform the show in Leeds myself this time, I hope one day I will. And I love making bread for the show, and even though I can't be in Leeds myself I wanted to send them a physical part of me to accompany the virtual me they'll see in the film.</div>
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It was hard to stop myself eating the bread when it came out the over this afternoon. It smelt so good...</div>
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I hope they enjoy it in Leeds. I hope they enjoy the film....</div>
<br />Jo Cliffordhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18386099866702074638noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3671452.post-32718176755998092102018-03-29T17:31:00.002+00:002018-03-29T17:31:33.513+00:00creativity as a cure for weariness<br />
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A load of packages arrived today. And with the packages, a massive amount of unnecessary packaging.<br />
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So I got it ready for recycling, and took it out to the bins, and recycling was overflowing. The bins were overflowing.<br />
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And suddenly I felt unspeakably weary. I found myself thinking of all the ways we humans are being uncontrollably self destructive.<br />
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I won't weary you with the list. Especially on my mind, I guess, were all the plastics that are poisoning our oceans, and poisoning our water supply, and so poisoning us.<br />
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I could see us so clearly being smothered by all the garbage we are producing. Not just of the physical kind, but the moral and the emotional and the intellectual and the pseudo-spiritual spewing out of our mouths and our keyboards and our screens.<br />
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And for a while I could do nothing at all.<br />
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I began to get hassled by the thought of all the things I need to be doing. The lines I need to be writing, and the lines I need to be learning.<br />
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The lines I will speak this Sunday as the Angel comforting the women at Jesus' tomb with the news of the triumph of life over death.<br />
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Of the lines I will speak the following Sunday as Queen Jesus:<br />
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"For we all have a light. Deep deep inside us. No matter how much darkness there is in the world around us, no matter how much darkness there is in our lives: the light is still there, deep deep in the heart of us.<br />
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And our job is to bring it out and let it shine".<br />
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And before I knew it I was writing again.<br />
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And my weariness had gone.<br />
<br />Jo Cliffordhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18386099866702074638noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3671452.post-65711660051364587092018-03-28T20:08:00.000+00:002018-03-28T20:08:05.943+00:00Checking out the Dundee Rep stage<br />
To Dundee today to visit Dundee Rep.<br />
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I love this theatre. I've seen two of my plays beautifully produced here: ANNA KARENINA and GREAT EXPECTATIONS.<br />
<br />
Me and Susan Worsfold wanted to visit it to get the measure of the space for EVE, which I'll be performing there in May.<br />
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After Traverse 2, and then the Glasgow Citizens, it'll be the third different really space we've brought the show too.<br />
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The third I hope of many more.<br />
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I began the custom of standing on the theatre stages of the venues I was going to write for very early on -in the old Traverse, in 1985 - and it's one that means a lot to me.<br />
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It's so important to have the plan of the theatre in my imagination so that the characters live there as they come to life.<br />
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On the train up and on the train back there was everyone in my queer adaptation of TAMING OF THE SHREW that I've begun writing for the Sherman in Cardiff.<br />
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I loved having them there. Just as I love, now, sitting at my desk with Dundee Rep in my imagination.<br />
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One of the nicest things to me about performing in the Citz was when someone said to me they had the sense that i was addressing so much to them, and to them alone.<br />
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I hope I can do the same in Dundee. And I know, already, that I feel at home.<br />
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<a href="http://www.dundeerep.co.uk/event/eve-adam-double-bill-spring-18" target="_blank">http://www.dundeerep.co.uk/event/eve-adam-double-bill-spring-18</a>Jo Cliffordhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18386099866702074638noreply@blogger.com0