Tuesday, November 04, 2008

4th November

I went to the dentist today and he had to do a little drilling. To save time, to get it over, I said it would be fine without an injection.

It wasn't, in a way: it was really unpleasant, as drilling always is, and I squirmed a bit. But not very much, and he congratulated me, in the cheery way he has, calling me a "brave little soldier".

Which was kind of bizarre, but weirdly enough its association with being a little boy, and being complimented, comforted me. Even gave me a warm glow...

These ghostly remnants of the past do live on.

"Os mortos nao sao mortos". The dead are not dead.

Someone at the meditation this lunchtime was saying how coming to the church always made her think so strongly of her dead partner. He was a devout Buddhist, and so coming to the practice makes him very present for her.

And I thought immediately of how often Susie comes to me in dreams. The last time was Saturday night: and there she was, sleeping happily, lying in a vegetable bed beside newly planted vegetables.

When I told my daughter she smiled and said: "What a good place to find mum".

And it's true: there is something comforting in this. The ones we love do live on.


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