Tuesday, April 29, 2008

29th April
On the way to meditation at lunchtime, and I walked past the Lyceum stage door.
There were two guys outside, having a smoke, that I knew from my time rehearsing there. Very nice, straightforward men who I liked a lot but suddenly found myself feeling embarrassed to be walking past wearing a skirt.
I crossed the road, hopefully unobtrusivively, hoping I might avoid them seeing me.Which was absurd, because they did. And waved at me in a straightfoprward and friendly way that left me treflecting, yet again, how much we make ourselves suffer for no reason at all.
That was an embarrassment coming from ridicule way back in the past...
The meditation was about impermanence. I thought of Susie; obviously we know it is hard to let go of the memory of happy things: but it seems we hang on to sad memories too.
Which is something of a mystery...
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