Wednesday, April 23, 2008

23rd April 2008
Last weekend was the last night of LIFE IS A DREAM in Dublin.
I went to see it... what a happy weekend...
Reflecting on how much has happened since I first went to Dublin for the first day of rehearsals - on 25th February.
I've left my job.
I've started to feel absolutely at ease going to the Ladies.
... and both these things, in a strange kind of way, have to do with the greater confidence and strength Rough Magic have given me.
There's a line in LOSING VENICE where the poet says:
"I have laid the foundations of a new aesthetic"
and at the time I felt very full of myself because I really believed it to be true.
Had I known how difficult the whole process would turn out to be, perhaps I would not have been so full of myself.
And it's not really new: but certainly different.
(Thinking this as I walked past the swim centre in Leith)
For one thing, it's concerned with spirituality and beuty. And truth. And the big stories.
And all this is so way off message when what people seem obsessed with is ugliness, distress and despair and no longer believe there are any big stories any more.
And for another thing (though maybe this is part of the same thing) they're not the product of a male identity (which is without question the dominant voice) or even a female identity, but a trans identity.
No wonder it's felt so endlessly difficult to establish myself.
But there, on Saturday, a full house in Dublin of people so strongly warming to and appreciating this work which is so close to my heart. and to myself.
It's amazing good fortune.

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