Saturday, December 01, 2007

1st december 2007
i went to the opera with a couple of friends this afternoon.
It was the Barber of Seville, a beautiful production.
Humane, detailed, joyous.
One problem I've always had with going to opera is that I'd often end up feeling envious of the best outfits; and sad because i didn't feel able to dress that way myself.
But today i was wearing a skirt, without any anxiety at all.. and i could simply enjoy the opera.
And enjoy going out for a meal afterwards.. and then walking home in the saturday streets.
it's curious how all the anxious fantasies of what would happen were so totally inaccurate...
and curious, i can't help thinking, how little I actually know myself now.
I have become some kind of mystery to myself - a very pleasant mystery - and it's as if I need to go through a whole new journey to discover who i actually am.

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